Thanksgiving - 2012

Such major changes have happened in my life this year that I have been thinking a lot about the things I have to be thankful for....and I find that there are many.

First and foremost is that I had Ned in my life for 58 years. He was such a gentle man who loved family, friends and a good time. I don't know of anyone who didn't like Ned. Together we raised three wonderful sons. I have so many precious memories of our life and I try to make that my focus not how much I miss him.

I have always thought my sons were special....well, maybe there were a few times when they were younger that I could have given them away if I could have found someone who would take them. Not any more. I'm keeping my "boys." They really pitched in and helped take care of Ned and are so supportive of me. I'll brag and say they are exceptional men and I'm so thankful for them. I'm thankful also for their wives and sons who did anything they could for us. I really have a great family. I can't imagine how I would have gotten through this last year without them.

Next on the list are my friends. If I had kept a list of all the things that my friends did for me during this past year it would be the size of a novel.

Mexico....I'm definitely thankful that I have my little house in San Miguel and I'm enriched everyday by living in here.

I'm thankful for my health. I know that at my age that feeling healthy and strong can change in a flash so I'm really trying to live in the moment and be greatful for each day.

Because I have all of these things, my life is rich and full and I am thankful.

The last couple of years we have been in Houston with Ned's sister for Thanksgiving. This year I'm staying put here in Mexico. A little later I'll meet some friends at a restaurant for the traditional Thanksgiving Dinner. It seems a little funny that I'm not cooking today. The worst part of not cooking the big turkey dinner is that you don't have leftovers. Thanksgiving dinner is always soooo good the next day. I think restaurants could make a few extra bucks by having a "take-out box" for leftovers. I would definitely buy one.

To all my blogging friends, I hope you have a wonderful feast day with family and friends.

Cooking for One

My friend in Chicago wanted to bring a car from Chicago to their second home in Houston and she didn't want to do the drive alone.  It was in the late 80's and I was still traveling a lot. I had a trip that would take me to Chicago so rather than fly home, I drove back to Houston with Helen.

Early in the morning we packed the car and Helen put all the road maps where she could get to them. This was back in the days before GPS. Helen liked to know where she was at all times. It made her feel secure and safe. Our plan was that we were going to drive to Pulaski Tennessee and spend the night with my cousin. Somehow there had been a miscommunication and my cousin had gone to a football game but she said for us to go to her Mother's house and we could get the key. Her Mother, my Aunt Lucille, was my favorite Aunt. Uncle Charlie had died a number of years before so she lived alone in an apartment in the center of Pulaski. It was in an old well-maintained building and had a wonderful spirit about it. I had driven from Texas to Tennessee several times to see her because she was getting up there in years.

Helen and I drove to the apartment and knocked on the door. Aunt Lucille opened the door and greeted us like she had been expecting us for weeks. She had this great smile and a shy laugh. Soon she was asking us if we had eaten dinner. No, we hadn't but we were going to get a burger or something. No, no! She would not hear of it. She was immediately in the kitchen, taking stuff from the refrigerator and getting out pans. In about 15 minutes we sat down at the table set with china, napkins. There was meat....I can't remember if it was pork chops or meatloaf and at least three vegetables. Ice tea....it is the South. And then she even had a home made dessert. I seem to remember a slice of cake. I was amazed at the food she prepared for us. When I asked her if she had cooked for company she told me no. She had cooked it for her dinner. I've never forgotten that night because for the first time I realized that even when there is only one person to cook for that the food can be prepared at home and be delicious.

Now since I'm cooking for one I've often thought of that night with Aunt Lucille and I have realized something just as important as having delicious food and that is, that the act of  planning, purchasing and preparing the food is comforting and satisfying. Setting the table, even for one, with place mat, napkin and a little glass of wine feels good. Although I admit that the first time I sat at the table without Ned was very sad, it now comforts me.

The picture at the top? Well I put that up because it is the first time I've used my big-girl camera in a while. I did use it when I was in Colorado but I don't think I shot anything worthwhile. Basically, my photo-eye hasn't been working since early May. I took the camera with me into town yesterday and exposed about six images. This graffiti caught my eye because of the red heart. We don't usually see objects among the graffiti. I hope this means my photo-eye is waking up.

Taking Ned to Mexico

This blog is coming to you from San Miguel de Allende. Yes, I'm back. Arrived Sunday afternoon. The last few days in Houston were kind of crazy. I was worried about how to get most of my clothes that have collected in Houston over the last two years back to SMA. Would my two suitcases be overweight? What about my camera equipment? But my biggest worry last week was Ned's ashes. I wanted to bring some of his ashes to SMA.

The Funeral Home told me that they had sent cremated remains back to Mexico and they would provide the proper documentation for Mexican customs. I received a sealed box, a death certificate in Spanish and a letter in Spanish stating that the deceased had no communicable diseases. Okay. But I was still worried. I know that "rules" change from location to location, from day to day and from agent to agent in Mexico. I could just envision Mexico confiscating Ned's ashes from me and who knows where they would end up. The last couple of nights I was in Houston I took sleeping pills!

Okay, so I'm prepared for anything that might happen in Mexico. Little did I expect a problem North of the Border.

I get to the security line and I found out that since I'm 75 years old, I don't have to take my shoes off. I don't like being old but not having to take your shoes off is an advantage. I dutifully load up the plastic trays with shoulder bag with Ned's ashes and a carry-on. I have to go through the scanner and then turn to collect my stuff. The security person tells me to move over to the table that they have to check out the shoulder bag.

"Mam, what is in this bag?"
That official police voice which means she will not tolerate any objection.
"My purse, my Kindle and my husband's ashes."
She takes the sealed box out of the suede bag provided by the Funeral Home.
She wipes the inside of the bag with one of those explosive wipes.
"Mam, I'm going to have to take this box for a special scan."
She starts to walk away with the box.
"Where are you taking my husband?"
 Tears start rolling down my cheeks.
She gets a wire basket and puts the box in it.
"Over here for the special scan."
Now my nose is running and my breath is coming in hiccups.
She is back in less than a minute and gently puts the box back in the suede bag.
In a kind and gentle voice
"Mam, I'm sorry for your loss."

The flight was uneventful. In flight I fill out the entry form and the Custom Declarations form although I was not quite sure how to check it to declare Ned's ashes. I'm afraid if I don't tell them that I have the ashes and I get the red light that they will surely confiscate Ned's ashes.

Now Mexican Immigration and Mexican Custom. No problems though immigration. I get a porter to help with the luggage. I get to the Customs Agent.

"I'm not sure how I should fill out this Customs Declarations form but I have my husband's ashes."
"You have your husband with you????"
"No, my husband has died. I have his ashes with me and the paperwork to bring them into Mexico."
"Oh, push the button."
I pushed the button and got a green light.
She said
"Buenos Dias" and reached for the next person's Declarations form.
The porter and I walked out with my luggage and Ned's ashes.

I think that Ned is happy that at least a part of him is here in San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato, Mexico, a place he loved dearly.

Looking for the Next Adventure

Although the apartment looks like a cyclone blew through, I'm making progress at getting out of it and on my way back to San Miguel. The hardest part has been folding Ned's clothes and putting them in bags. Some people say that they want to keep their loved ones clothes because they can smell the scent of the person on the clothes. I sniffed and sniffed but I didn't smell Ned's scent at all. I was doing okay until I had to fold some cotton shirts and folding and smoothing them was like I was caressing him. By the time I finished gathering his things, I knew I could not take them to the Salvation Army. Thank goodness for Son #2. He came and got them and took care of that for me.

In getting out of the apartment I've made the decision not to keep any of my furniture. Of course, we had gotten rid of most things when we moved to SMA full time but I still had some upholstered pieces for the living room and also some Chippendale dining room chairs. When or if I come back to Houston, I'll most likely buy a high-rise condo.

I've come to realize that I am in a different place and stuff I've had for 30 or 40 years just doesn't seem to fit me anymore. And if I put it in a condo, it will look like some of the pictures I see of condos that are for sale on the Houston Area Realtors website.....Like the condo owner is an older person(s) who downsized but their life is still the same. I know, my life is not the same.

This week also included a trip to San Antonio to meet up with friends who gave Carly a ride back to San Miguel. It was really hard to let her go. She has been my comfort and companion since Ned died. From San Antonio I dropped off a photograph that will be in a show in Johnson City and then on to Austin to see Son #3 and family. I was fortunate enough to hear Maxwell, 12 year old grandson, play with his new band. The band was good and he was great on the drums. He just gets better and better every time I hear him.

While discussing with Son #3 some of my thoughts about what I was doing as well as some of the doubts, He told me to rent the animated movie UP.  It is about a man who met his wife when they were young kids and she always had the dream of taking off on an adventure. Life goes on and they were never able to save the money to fulfill her dream before she died. He is pressed down with grief but circumstances force him out of his rut and he is off on the adventure they always dreamed about. Son #3 talked to me about moving forward and going on to new adventures. When did my "baby" become so wise and insightful?

Son #1 has told me that I should go do anything I want to do. Parachute out of a plane. Travel anywhere. I don't have to worry about Ned or any of them. Live my life to the fullest. What a wonderful blessing my three sons are.

So this next week my nephew who just bought a new house will come and take a bunch of stuff. The movers will come and take boxes to storage and deliver the furniture to the Guild Shop. I'll move over to Son #1's house. Then I'm off with friends to Port Aransas for a few days and I'll try to do some more photography for the PortA project. Back in Houston for a day or two of last minute shopping, storing the car and then I'll fly to San Miguel and look for my next adventure.

Ned Is Still Taking Care of Me

I'm doing all the things you have to do when you lose a husband. See the Accountant, the Attorney, take care of financial matters.

Monday when I saw the Attorney about the Will. She asked me for the original copy of the Will. I was sure it was in the safe deposit box. The problem is that I have not been able to find the key for the box. Ned always brought it but I had looked and looked, in his "man" purse, suitcases and briefcases. No key. So I had called the bank to find out how I went about getting the box opened and I was going to pay to have it done this week. All afternoon on Monday, I was thinking about the key and "talking" to Ned. And by the way, I talk to Ned a lot. Monday night I had the urge to go look one more time in the briefcases. I went through the first one and just as I was about to put it down I realized that there was a concealed zippered pocked inside another pocket. I unzipped it and there was the safe deposit key.

Tuesday I went to the bank and opened the safe deposit box. There were all the legal papers that I needed both here and in Mexico.

I think Ned is still watching out for me.

Ned Mercer

I think that everyone knows that my dear Ned passed away June 23, 2012. Just in case there are some of my blog readers who didn't know, I want to share with you what I shared on Facebook.

Rest in Peace
Ned Mercer
October 19, 1936 to June 23, 2012

A few days before he died Ned and I had this conversation.....

Ned - You know what I dreamed last night?

Me - No, what did you dream?

Ned - I dreamed that this trapeze (the apparatus he pulled up on to get out of bed) and all the ceiling was covered with flowers.


Me - What kind of flowers?


Ned - All colors, beautiful flowers.


Me - That sounds really beautiful.

I helped him get back in bed for a nap. I couldn't say anything else. Just kissed him on the forehead.
Ned has moved on to higher ground where the beautiful flowers are.

Needless to say the last five weeks have been very emotional and incredible difficult. I certainly have not felt like writing in this blog. And I'm not sure what the future of the blog is but yesterday something happened that I thought I should write about. I'm not making any promises but maybe.........

Catching Up to Thanksgiving

I took this picture about two weeks ago, just south of San Antonio. Yes, we are back in Texas. Our drive from Laredo to Houston was in the rain. Much needed rain in South and Central Texas. There was some fall color in the grass and trees and the rain made it look soft and saturated. I must have seen a 500 images along the way but this location was the only place where I was able to stop and actually get out the camera. It was an abandoned gas station so I was able to stay dry while I got out of the car and got the camera together. I pulled my hoodie up, held the camera under my jacket until I pulled it out to shoot. Two shots and when I got back to the car I had to spend some time wiping down the camera and lens.

Our drive from San Miguel to Laredo was uneventful except after going though a check point where they had a gamma ray machine thing scanning the cars, we drove through and I was back up to about 70-75 miles an hour when I looked in the rear view mirror and a black military jeep with lights flashing was on my tail. I slowed down and they pulled up beside me and motioned me over. There were four Federales in full battle gear, armor, helmets, guns. One of them spoke a bit of English. While three of them were pounding on the tires and sides of the car, he wanted to see the car permit and my driver's license. He said something about the tires were high ???? don't know what that meant or if the gamma ray scanner had picked up something. At any rate he checked the VIN number and my Driver's license and gave them back to me and said thank you.

We stopped in Austin and picked Carly up. She was glad to see us and has fallen right back into her routine with us. We were a little worried because while she was with Son #3 and family, she was allowed to do things she isn't allowed to do here......like sleep in the bed with them. But the first night we were home, we were getting ready for bed and told her it was time for her to go to bed. She walked right into her crate and slept all night without a yip, whine, or bark.

We are settled back into the Houston routine. Ned has resumed his chemo treatments and is tolerating them pretty well. Today we will be with Ned's sister and family and Son #2. The table will be loaded with all the traditional Thanksgiving food. We will eat too much. Catch up on our talking. But most of all we will be thankful for being together and for all we have.

Taking Care of the Flock

We have been taking care of two of our grandsons. Even though they are big kids, 15 and 11 (almost 12) it is a big job . . . even intense at times . . . because everything is compressed into before and after school. They go in different directions, have different eating schedules, and a maze of carpools. Their Mom wrote me out a schedule before she left. It was two pages long and then it had addendums of emails and phone calls as schedules changed because of the weather. Betsy has said that she NEEDS her phone with a calendar to keep up with the constant changes. She is right. Anyone doing this parenting job needs the latest technology and a degree in Logistics.

So far, we have managed to get the boys out of bed, fed, carpooled, homework done and back in bed for three days. No problems. But I think they have been on their best behavior for us.

The image was made in Port Aransas in a wild life refuge in the marshes near the Intercoastal Waterway. I got up at 6:30 AM and headed to the refuge. For a while I was the only one there. I knew that if I were really there to photograph the birds like a serious wildlife photographer I needed a tripod and flash but I didn't bring that along. I just wanted to see what it was like. The morning was gray and very windy but that didn't keep me from playing with different settings on the camera. I think this is the only one I like out of about 50 images I shot. But one out of 50 isn't a bad average for me.

Mother's Day

I had a really special Mother's Day. The Houston Mercer's gathered at Mike and Betsy's and the Mercer "men" made brunch for Betsy and me. Of course, this was under the direction and supervision of Chef Gary. Although there were a few moments of excitement like an exploding Pyrex bowl and the grandsons learning to separate the yolk and white of the egg, I can't begin to tell you how much fun it was to watch the cooking lesson. Except there was a point where Betsy and I went to the Den because we wanted to jump in and save a Teflon wok and wipe up some spills as they occurred.

Besides the Eggs Benedict and fruit, we also had roasted finger potatoes and zucchini, walnut cranberry bread, assorted cheeses, orange juice and coffee.

Doug and family went camping for Mother's Day but I had a phone call from them. I'm so proud of all my "boys" and their families. That should be satisfaction enough for a Mother but throw in a great brunch with Eggs Benedict and it was a wonderful day.

The Mercer Logs

The Mercer Logs were written by some of Ned's ancestors who settled Mustang Island back in the 1850's. The Mercer men where pilots who brought ships out in the Gulf of Mexico in and out of ports like Corpus Christi and Rockport. The water wasn't deep and the channels were constantly shifting. A pilot who knew the waterways was needed.

Each day's entry starts and ends with the weather, "The day begins with wind N.N.E. . . . So ends this day with wind E.N.E." But in between the beginning and ending of each day, there were notations of which ships came in and out and the recording of life on Mustang Island.

Friday, February 3, 1871
This day begins with the wind N.E. good breeze, pleasant. Tom and Ned went to farming. Harnessed Lion and Lep and went to harrowing. Clubb and Roberts arrived from Rockport. All hands followed Clubb's whisky jug home. Had several drinks., took dinner at Clubb's. So played hell with our plowing business. Had to turn the oxen out. . . . So ends the day. Winds E. light.

These logs have been held in the family until recently when they were turned over to the Port Aransas Preservation and Historical Association (PAPHA.) The logs that have survived cover a period from 1866 to 1877. The PAPHA has had the logs treated for archival preservation and stored in a secure vault. They are now in the process of transcribing copies of the logs.

Back in 1990's I looked at microfiche copies of some of the logs in the Corpus Christi Library. Both sides of paper had been written on and the ink had bled through pages. They were very difficult to read. I was fortunate enough to find in the Library a carbon paper transcription  of a period of about 18 months in the 1871-1872 time frame. I retyped the transcription because the carbon paper was difficult to read as well and I gave copies to our sons.

I love reading the logs and thinking about the lives they lived. So before we went to Port Aransas last month, I went through the logs and made notes about places and things that I wanted to look for. We had wonderful visits with some members of the PAPHA who shared more information with us as did some of the families of other early settlers. So if you haven't already figured it out, I am starting a long term project that ties in with the Mercer logs.

The image above was made in a garden in Port Aransas.

Salt Cedar

Last week while we were in Port Aransas, I was looking at the vegetation. There are not a lot of big trees on the island although just a few miles away on the mainland around Rockport and Fulton you start to find beautiful old wind-twisted hardwoods. I saw some pictures of PortA from about 1900 to 1930 and from the town facing the Gulf of Mexico there were not any trees, just sand dunes. Ned remembers just sand dunes and more sand dunes when he went there as a boy.

While I was in a part of town that is on the backside of the dunes, I think it is what they call Old Town,  there was quite a bit of vegetation. Along one road I spotted several of these trees. After finding out that they were called Salt Cedar, I looked them up on the web. Salt Cedar or tamarisk (tamarix ramosissima) was introduced to the USA from Eurasia in the 1820's and now they have become an invasive plant across much of the USA.

When I was looking at them I thought that these were good trees and would help stablize the sandy soil but the bad side of them is that they hog the land, kill off the native plants and they can drink 200 gallons of water a day.

In the Mercer Logs they write about planting cedar slips along the North end of the field. Most probably they were planting salt cedar in the 1870's. But who knew that they were going to turn out to be nusiance. I wonder if this salt cedar is a decendant from one of the trees the Mercers planted.

I'll write another blog soon and tell you about the Mercer Logs.

The Beach

We have been to Port Aransas, Texas. We have a long connection to PortA. Ned's family were some of the early settlers on Mustang Island. Ned's Dad was born on the island. Ned went there in the summers when he was a kid and we took our boys there while they were growing up. So many wonderful memories of spending the day on the beach, going to the harbor to buy seafood to cook for dinner, wiener roasts in the evenings. What could be better than long lazy days reading, walking the beach, picking up shells, watching the boys on boogie boards and eating good seafood.

We haven't been there for a while, actually a long while so we rented a little efficiency place at The Laughing Horse Lodge and off we went. PortA has changed. They have widened the streets, enlarged the grocery store, and opened seafood markets. There are wonderful birding and wild life preserves and the beaches have designated driving and parking areas. There is a museum about PortA history and we are going to help pull together the Mercer family tree since the first Mercers settled there in the 1850's.

We stopped at the Aransas-Corpus Christi Pilots office. Since Ned's Dad and Grandfather were pilots on the Houston Ship Channel and the early Mercer settlers at PortA were pilots who guided the ships in the Gulf into ports in that area, we thought it might be fun to meet a current pilot.

Here is where the story gets good. The dispatcher that we talked with at the office put us in touch with Captain "Ned" Teller. Captain Teller is from one of the old families on the island and he is a history buff about PortA.

He invited us to his home and when we got there, he went to get his Mother who was 90 years old but looked 70. She walked in and started talking about my Ned's mother's family. They were from Houston and we knew that all four of the "girls" in the Ricks family had not spent time in PortA when they were young women. We were so confused.

Well, it turns out that when she was about 14 she spent time in the Heights neighborhood in Houston and she became friends with the four Ricks girls. She remembered all their names and places they went together. And she met Ned's Dad, also named Ned. He was courting Ned's Mom. She thought he was so nice and she liked the name Ned and so after she married a man from PortA and started a family that is what she named her second son and he ends up being a ship pilot.

I hope you could follow this convoluted story. I think it is amazing that all of those threads could have come back together last week. It truly is a small, small world.

Easter

Easter was a quiet day for us. Although I still managed to overcook a key lime pie. I put the pie in the oven, checked the time and thought, I have 30 minutes. So I went to do some more research on the computer for a project. Poof! One hour later I thought about the pie. So that one went in the garbage and I went to the store to get the ingredients for another key lime pie. This time while I waited for the pie to cook, I did a bit of ironing. No way I'll get so distracted by ironing that I'll forget about the pie.

We went to Mike and Betsy's for Easter dinner. She made a wonderful dinner of lamb chops, peas, baby carrots and roasted potatoes but it wasn't just lamb chops, peas, carrots and potatoes. She added a special touch to each dish. The weather was so nice that we sat outside on the terrace. It is such a blessing to have a meal with the family. Just wish Doug and Susan and their boys could have been with us.

In case you are wondering, going around the table from the guy in the shorts, Mike, Gary, Ned, Will, Jack (who probably grew 1/4 inch while we were having dinner) and the marvelous cook, Betsy.

Dexter Is Six

Dexter the youngest grandson was six years old on April 1 and we were able to  celebrate with him. His other grandmother also came for the celebration. After opening presents we went to his favorite restaurant IM Thai. He told Ned to order the Pad Thai because it was the "greatest."

The award for the best picture of Dexter on his birthday goes to his Mom, Susan. On Facebook his Dad wrote, "It is amazing what you can order through the mail these days." Problem is, with this company there is no return policy. No, we wouldn't return him. He is so full of life, so funny and sometimes a bit difficult. But hey, in many ways he is like his Dad and his Dad grew up to be a pretty wonderful man.

Another Year, Another Birthday

The end of the year always brings around some reflection on what has happened and what we want for the next year. I get a double whammy because I also have a birthday at the end of the year....today not on New Year's Eve....but that is basically one and the same so far as reflecting back on the year.

What a year 2010 has turned out to be. We spent almost as much time in Houston as we did in San Miguel not out of choice but out of necessity. Way too much of that time was spent in hospitals and doctor's offices. So we are looking forward to 2011. We will head back to San Miguel a week from today and that is where we plan to stay except for short "vacations" back to the USA to see family. Of course we will have to fly in a time or two for medical check-ups but those trips should be very short.

My list of wishes for 2011 is short and simple....well maybe not simple. I want good health for both of us. If we have that then all the other things that I might put on a New Year's resolution list can happen.

Ned's cancer is in remission although the doctor wants him to take one more chemo treatment before we leave next week. Then it will take him three or four weeks to come out of chemo fatigue and brain fog but at least he will be recuperating in San Miguel where he wants to be. In February his hair will start growing back and by March, he will be the same handsome devil I married. Oh, I forgot to mention that we had another wedding anniversary this week.

The picture at the top is of Doug, Son #3, and Ned. Which reminds me, we had a great Christmas with the family. If you like looking at family snapshots, you can check out my family Christmas snaps here.

I'm going to wrap up this rambling blog entry and go treat myself to a birthday mani-pedi and then on to see the movie, The King's Speech. I think we are going to stay in and have lobster tails for dinner. Nice birthday!

To all my Readers, I wish you a healthy and happy 2011.

Outside My Door

A little change of pace from the Christmas lights.

 Houston doesn't have a lot of Fall color but this afternoon while I was walking Carly I noticed that the crape myrtles still have some leaves and they looked like flames in the bright sunlight. This tree was right outside our apartment door. My heart was filled with joy to see this brief moment of beauty. The sun isn't shining on them now and their color is dulled. In another day or so they will be gone but that one instant in time was precious.

I'm making myself a promise to look for and cherish more of those special moments whether it is with the natural world around me or with my family and friends. And also, capture them with the camera.

It's Just Not Right!

From the grocery advertisements today:

Holiday Dinner - $59.99
9-11 pound cooked turkey
Prepared cornbread stuffing
Creamy mashed potatoes
Green Bean Casserole
Turkey Gravy
Cranberry Relish

This seems so sad to me. Who would want to miss out on all the fun of making Thanksgiving Dinner. Yes, I know that even if everyone brings stuff, it is still a lot of work for the hosts to get out the silver, good china, crystal, linens. Get the house ready. Decorate the table. Shop. Cook. But there is also so much pleasure to remember and cook the family traditions.

This year my assignments are pecan pie, creamed onions and cheddar cheese coins. I'm planning ahead. I've bought a pastry blender and pie plate and plan to go back to the Farmer's Market to get pecans so fresh that they are shelling them as I buy them. And I'm anticipating Betty's oyster dressing, rich turkey gravy, Farrah's sweet potatoes.....Yummm. We'll see Betty's little grandchildren and Ned's wonderful 90 year old aunt. Almost everyone will be standing in the kitchen as the dinner is put into serving bowls.  Lots of good food and good conversations.

But buying a Thanksgiving Dinner at the grocery store. It just isn't right. Where is the love?

Memories

Memories
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-color memories
Of the way we were--------------
So its the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were.

A few lines from the song of the 1973 movie The Way We Were with Barbara Streisand. All the song doesn't fit but a few of the lines of the song have been rattling around in my head today. Some memories are vivid but lots of them are permanent even if they are misty water-color memories, kind of like a old color photograph that you can pick up, study and go back to the time and place.

I've been thinking about my sister, Margaret who died 14 years ago from breast cancer. Her birthday was the 27th and she died the day before her birthday. Yeah, I still miss her a lot. I'm not sure we liked each other that much as children but as adults we were so close. We had so many good times together and so there is lots of laughter to remember.

A trip to the Texas gulf coast on Tuesday to meet up with  #3, Doug and his family, and #2, Gary. Doug had rented a beach house for his family's vacation. We went down to see them for the day. That definitely brought back a flood of vivid memories of so many family vacations to the beach. Walks on the water line, watching the kids in the water, laying on a lounge chair reading books, winnie roasts, buying seafood caught that day and cooking, feeding the gulls and the endless sound of the water rolling in. I couldn't help laughing at the "boys" as they remembered things from the vacations. I always made big containers of cookies to take down. What did they remember? Going with their Dad to the Islander Grocery in the morning to get fresh donuts.

It was really special to be there and see the beach vacation tradition being passed on to the next generation. Yesterday added some more laughs and good memories to the family's story.

So it is the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were.

A Rant About Movies and Kids

This story doesn't relate to this picture except they both happened in Austin, Texas. In the old part of Austin you see a lot of murals on the side of buildings. I liked the combination of painted flowers with the real vegetation. But on with the story. Actually, as the title says, it is a rant!

We don't go to a movie theatre in the States very often but while we were in Texas, we invited the Austin grandsons to pick out a movie and we would take them. Their parents usually get them Netflixs to watch so they were excited to be going to a movie and getting to buy popcorn and a drink. The cost of popcorn and a drink could be another rant but I'll stick to the original plan. They choose the latest Shrek movie because they had seen all the previous Shrek movies. Fine. We load them up and off we go. We get the popcorn and drink and we are pleased that we are getting into the movie just a few minutes before the movie is to begin.

We find theatre #10 or whatever number and right then we should have picked up on what might happen. There was a Dad and two kids outside. The girl, who was the oldest, had peeked into the theatre and told the Dad, "The previews are still on." The little boy was hanging on to his Dad's hand looking very hesitant.

When we go through the doors the movie is pitch black. You can barely see the seats much less the stairs but we stumble along trying to help the 5 year old so he doesn't spill his popcorn or drink. That would be a disaster of major proportions. The noise/sound from whatever they are advertising on the screen is deafening and coming at you from all sides.

We manage to get into the seats. Just as we are settling into the seats there is an animation on the screen that looks like real people sitting in a theatre eating their popcorn but suddenly with lots of weird noises the floor below them starts to crack open and roots start to go up around the seats and legs of the people and the front of the theatre starts to drop into an abyss. All of this is accompanied with the appropriate and terrible sound effects.

Dexter, our five year old grandson, isn't crying but he is scared and he wants his Mom and Dad. Ned takes him out of the theatre. It takes sweet, gentle, pawpaw about 15 minutes to convince him to come back into the theatre. Once he is back, he settles into his seat and enjoys the Shrek movie.

I was so concerned about Dexter that I didn't see the rest of the stupid advertisement so I don't know what the purpose of it was but it was frightening to little children and Shrek was suppose to be a kid friendly movie.  I've always thought that this pre-movie stuff was aggravating but now I think we should get a group together and go picket the theatres to stop this assault on our senses and to protect our little children from psychological damage. The parents of frightened children should be interviewed on The Morning Show. We should write our congressmen to request a congressional hearing about the damage it is doing.  Something needs to be done. Cut out all the crap and just show the movie that we paid to see.

What Is Important?

As usual this Sunday morning I watched Sunday Morning with Charles Osgood. There was a segment about  Thornton Wilder's play Our Town . The segment asked the question, "In an over-caffeinated popular culture dominated by the big and loud, how did a drama about unremarkable people in an unremarkable place become one of America's most produced and most beloved plays?" That question seemed to tie back to what has been happening in our life for the last month. The play is beloved because it goes back to the basics of family and friends, sickness and health. The things that touch us all.

In a crisis life boils down to the basics and one of the things that I found wasn't so important to me......Blogging. Not when I'm faced with a crisis in my family. One of my "boys" was sick and within a couple of hours of getting to the hospital he was on a ventilator in ICU. It was touch and go for about a week. He is now home after a four week stay in the hospital and he is doing okay.

This past year has been like a whack on the side of the head to remind me about what is important.....to live in the moment and take time to stop and smell the roses. I know those phrases can sound trite but right now they don't sound trite to me at all. They are more like my mantra.

When I look back at this four week period, I am inspired and oh so thankful for the way my family came together to do everything we could for our son, brother and brother-in-law. I'm thankful for the amazing Houston Medical Center and all the highly skilled doctors and nurses who took of him. I'm thankful for all the friends who took care of us and prayed for us. And bloggers, I'm thankful for you even though you didn't know what was going on. Some of you wrote to me and let me know you were concerned. I'm back in San Miguel and I'll gradually take up blogging again.