What do the kids think?

A recent four-day visit by an adult son, started me wondering what our kids think about us? What do they say about us to each other when they talk? I guess I started wondering about this because it occurred to me that I was about their ages when I lost my parents. First my Mother and then about three or four years later, my Father. I'm almost two years older than my Mother when she died.

For the last ten years of their lives, they seemed so old, so alone. The events in their lives seemed to be going to the grocery store and for doctors appointments. I hated to go to their house because it was closed and dark. If they cooked, the food was bland and boring. I was seeing their deteriorating physical conditions....less steady on their feet, more sedentary. It was difficult to talk to them because they had no outside interests. It was difficult to take the children over there because there was nothing for them to do but sit on the couch and drink a coke. So I asked them to come see us for dinners and for holidays. Actually, I don't think my Mother could have pulled off a Thanksgiving dinner during the last 10 years of her life. But everytime I asked them to come see us, I worried about them driving across Houston in the traffic and then home again at night.

I think our sons and daughter-in-laws think....

• We're a little crazy for living part of the time in Mexico
• That we get around pretty good for our age
• That we can still set some pretty good food on the table
• That they don't have to worry too much about us because we are busy with friends, my photography, and keeping up two houses.

Still I'm beginning to hear hints that they see us as needing some help.

"Mom, I'll come help you get the Christmas decorations down from the attic."

"Tell Dad, I'll help him dig up that tree."

Okay, sometimes we could use a little help. But you wonder how do they really "see" the "old folks."