Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Climbing Out

Yesterday was a deep hole. Grief is a funny thing. It would seem that after 10 years it wouldn't come and hit you again with the same overwhelming sense of loss. It would seem that after 10 years you would be to the point that you can remember and smile. But yesterday brought that raw feeling of what was lost.

The weight of the loss weighs you down, tightens the muscles of your chest, clamping your rib cage tight so that at times you have to tell your shoulders to relax and come down from around your ears, tell your chest muscles to relax to let you take deep belly breaths.

When Margaret died, many shared the same sense of loss and I was comforted by them. But yesterday the sadness was overwhelming and I felt all alone. Today, it is back to normal. I still miss her but I'm not in that deep black hole.

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